Asro

YOGYAKARTA – A recent statement by influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri Devi (Gitasav) labeling children as a "burden" has ignited a strong backlash, drawing sharp criticism from various individuals and groups. Among those who have publicly countered this viewpoint is business coach Rr. Sarwi Peni Wulandaru, widely known as Coach Wulan. With a family of ten children, ranging in age from one to eighteen, Coach Wulan, who is approaching her fifties, shared her personal experiences and perspectives on motherhood, career, and financial well-being, directly challenging the notion that children represent an insurmountable burden.

The controversy surrounding Gitasav’s remarks gained significant traction across social media platforms and news outlets. While the specific context and full nuance of Gitasav’s original statement are subject to ongoing discussion, the phrase "anak adalah beban" (children are a burden) has been widely interpreted as a rejection of the traditional view of child-rearing and a promotion of the childfree lifestyle. This interpretation has resonated with some segments of the population, particularly younger generations exposed to global trends and discussions on personal autonomy and career aspirations. However, it has also deeply offended many who hold traditional family values and find fulfillment in raising children.

Coach Wulan, a prominent figure in business coaching and actively involved in various organizations including ICMI, Kadin, and Masyarakat Ekonomi Syariah (MES) DIY, presented a starkly contrasting narrative. In an interview with Republika.co.id on Saturday, February 11, 2023, she detailed her busy life, managing a large family, an active business, and multiple organizational commitments, all without the assistance of domestic help. At 48 years old, her life is a testament to the possibility of balancing extensive family responsibilities with a dynamic professional and civic life.

Challenging the "Burden" Narrative: A Mother’s Experience

Coach Wulan’s primary argument against the idea of children as a burden centers on her lived experience. She asserted that having children does not inherently limit a woman’s capacity for intellectual growth or career advancement. Instead, she views her children as sources of immense joy and support. "I have 10 children, and I am still active in business, organizations, and various activities. I don’t even have a helper," Coach Wulan stated, highlighting her capacity to manage multiple facets of her life successfully.

This perspective directly refutes the notion that children are an inherent impediment to personal or professional development. Coach Wulan’s experience suggests that with effective management, prioritization, and a supportive mindset, motherhood can be integrated into a fulfilling and productive life. She emphasized that the presence of many children does not necessarily translate into a financial strain, drawing upon Islamic tenets. "For me, children can be a balm for the heart in all situations. I believe more children mean more sustenance, more happiness, and more people praying for you," she added.

This belief is rooted in the Islamic concept of rizq (sustenance), which posits that God guarantees provision for every creature He brings into existence. Therefore, from this viewpoint, the financial challenges associated with raising children are not an insurmountable obstacle but rather a matter of faith and divine provision. This theological perspective offers a fundamental counterpoint to secular arguments that focus solely on the economic costs of child-rearing.

The Islamic Perspective on Motherhood and Child-Rearing

Coach Wulan also addressed the broader discourse on childfree lifestyles and what she described as "negative campaigns within a feminist perspective." She underscored the elevated status of women and mothers in Islam. Citing a well-known hadith, she recalled the Prophet Muhammad’s emphasis on respecting one’s mother three times more than one’s father.

"The reason for mentioning ‘your mother’ three times is because the Prophet truly understood that a mother’s journey is filled with struggle. Pregnancy is arduous, childbirth, if it results in death, is equated with jihad, and breastfeeding, which also involves physical and mental pain," Coach Wulan explained. This profound respect for the sacrifices inherent in motherhood is a cornerstone of Islamic teaching and provides a strong cultural and religious framework that values and honors the role of mothers.

This religious framework offers a significant counter-narrative to contemporary discussions that may prioritize individual autonomy and career fulfillment above familial responsibilities. The Islamic perspective frames motherhood not as a burden, but as a sacred duty and a source of immense spiritual reward. The emphasis on the mother’s sacrifices highlights the deep societal and religious recognition of the physical and emotional toll of childbearing and child-rearing, positioning it as an act of great merit.

Guidance for the Younger Generation: Discernment and Values

Coach Wulan expressed concern that younger generations, particularly millennials, might uncritically adopt the opinions of influencers. She urged them to exercise greater discernment when consuming content online and to critically evaluate the messages they receive. "Values of life, whether considered good or bad, are usually derived from family, religion, environment, and media," she noted.

She stressed the importance of grounding oneself in core values, particularly those derived from religious texts like the Quran and Hadith. According to Coach Wulan, adhering to these principles ensures not only success in the hereafter but also prosperity and well-being in this life. "If everything is guided by the Quran, then not only matters of the hereafter, but also worldly affairs will be manageable. Therefore, the role of the family is crucial in instilling values in their children to ward off external influences, so they do not deviate from the Quran and Hadith," she advised.

Her message to young people was to focus their aspirations on the hereafter and to cultivate obedience to divine guidance. "So, if young people are directed towards the obsession of the hereafter, their value is obedience. If the source is the Quran and Hadith, God willing, their path will be smooth," she concluded. This guidance reflects a belief in the transformative power of faith and adherence to religious principles as a foundation for a meaningful and successful life, encompassing both spiritual and temporal dimensions.

Broader Implications and Societal Discourse

The exchange between Gitasav and Coach Wulan highlights a growing societal debate concerning family, individual aspirations, and the evolving roles of women. The rise of social media has amplified individual voices, allowing diverse perspectives on life choices, including childbearing, to reach a wide audience.

Background Context: The discussion around "childfree" living has gained momentum globally over the past decade, fueled by increasing access to contraception, greater female participation in the workforce, and a cultural shift towards prioritizing personal fulfillment and career advancement. Influencers like Gitasav, with large followings, play a significant role in shaping these narratives. Their statements, often presented as personal truths or progressive ideals, can have a profound impact on their audience, particularly on young adults grappling with major life decisions.

Timeline and Chronology: While the specific date of Gitasav’s initial statement is not provided in the article, the report indicates that it occurred recently, prompting Coach Wulan’s response on February 11, 2023. This suggests a developing public conversation that is actively being shaped by influencers and counter-voices. The ongoing nature of such debates means that new perspectives and reactions can emerge over time.

Supporting Data and Analysis: Statistics on fertility rates and family structures offer a broader context. Many developed nations are experiencing declining birth rates, with factors such as increased education levels for women, delayed marriage, and the rising cost of living cited as contributing reasons. For instance, the average fertility rate in many Western countries has fallen below the replacement level of 2.1 children per woman. This demographic trend underscores the growing prevalence of smaller families and the increasing visibility of individuals who choose not to have children.

However, in many Muslim-majority countries, traditional family values remain strong, and larger families are still common and often celebrated. The contrasting viewpoints presented in this article reflect this divergence in cultural and religious perspectives. Coach Wulan’s emphasis on divine provision and spiritual reward resonates with a significant portion of the global population that adheres to religious frameworks that encourage procreation and family bonding.

Reactions from Related Parties (Inferred): While the article directly quotes Coach Wulan, it is reasonable to infer that her perspective is shared by many religious scholars, community leaders, and families who uphold traditional values. The strong "backlash" mentioned suggests widespread disagreement with Gitasav’s statement, indicating that a considerable number of people find her view to be contrary to their deeply held beliefs and lived experiences. Conversely, those who advocate for childfree lifestyles likely see Gitasav’s statement as an articulation of their own choices and desires, finding solidarity in her public pronouncements.

Implications of the Debate: The implications of this ongoing debate are multifaceted:

• Shaping Societal Norms: Such discussions influence societal perceptions of family, parenthood, and individual choice. They can either reinforce traditional values or contribute to the normalization of alternative lifestyles.
• Impact on Young Adults: Millennials and Gen Z are navigating a complex landscape of information and social pressures. Influencer discourse can significantly shape their views on marriage, children, and personal fulfillment.
• Intergenerational Dialogue: The contrast between Coach Wulan’s experience and Gitasav’s statement highlights a potential intergenerational dialogue, where older generations’ wisdom and traditional values are being challenged by younger generations’ embrace of new ideas and individualistic pursuits.
• Religious and Cultural Relevance: The debate underscores the enduring influence of religious and cultural frameworks in shaping life choices, particularly concerning family and procreation.

Coach Wulan’s robust defense of motherhood and her large family, grounded in faith and personal experience, serves as a powerful counter-narrative to the assertion that children are merely a burden. Her message emphasizes the spiritual, emotional, and even practical benefits that children can bring, urging a more holistic and value-driven approach to life decisions, particularly for the younger generation. The ongoing discourse initiated by Gitasav’s statement and amplified by figures like Coach Wulan demonstrates the continued societal importance and sensitivity surrounding the choices individuals make regarding family and personal life.