The recent controversial statement by influencer and YouTuber Gita Savitri Devi (Gitasav) asserting that children are a burden has ignited a wave of rebuttals from various individuals and groups. Among those who have publicly challenged this perspective is business coach Rr. Sarwi Peni Wulandaru, widely known as Coach Wulan. At nearly fifty years old, Coach Wulan is a mother to ten children, with the youngest being one year old and the eldest eighteen. Her lived experience, she argues, directly contradicts the notion that children inherently limit a woman’s potential or create insurmountable financial strain.
Challenging the "Burden" Narrative: A Personal Testimony
Coach Wulan, who is 48 years old, shared her perspective with Republika.co.id on Saturday, February 11, 2023. "I have 10 children, and I am still active in business, organizations, and various other activities. I don’t even have a helper," she stated. This assertion directly confronts the idea that a large family necessitates a diminished personal or professional life. Coach Wulan’s experience suggests that with effective management and a strong personal conviction, it is possible to balance extensive familial responsibilities with a thriving career and active community engagement.
Her argument extends beyond personal anecdote, touching upon fundamental beliefs. According to Coach Wulan, the presence of children does not preclude a woman from expanding her knowledge base or advancing her career. Furthermore, she posits that having numerous children does not translate into a financial burden, as she believes that the sustenance of every living being is divinely guaranteed by Allah SWT. This perspective aligns with a common theological viewpoint in Islam that emphasizes divine providence and the concept of "rizq" (provision).
"For me, children can be a source of comfort in all situations. I firmly believe that more children mean more sustenance, more happiness, and more people praying for you," she added, highlighting the emotional and spiritual fulfillment she derives from her large family. This contrasts sharply with Gitasav’s perceived focus on personal freedom and material comfort as paramount.
The Islamic Perspective on Motherhood and Feminism
The discourse surrounding Gitasav’s statements has also touched upon the broader debates around the "childfree" movement and contemporary feminist perspectives. Coach Wulan emphasized the profoundly esteemed position of women and mothers within Islam. She referenced a well-known Hadith of Prophet Muhammad SAW, which states that a mother deserves to be honored three times more than a father.
"The reason it is mentioned ‘your mother’ three times is because the Prophet truly understood that a mother’s journey is filled with struggle. Pregnancy is arduous, childbirth, if it results in death, is equated to martyrdom (jihad), and breastfeeding also involves physical and mental hardship," Coach Wulan explained. She is an active participant in prominent Islamic organizations such as ICMI (Indonesian Muslim Intellectuals Association), Kadin (Indonesian Chamber of Commerce and Industry), and the Sharia Economic Society (MES) for the Special Region of Yogyakarta (DIY). Her affiliations lend weight to her pronouncements on matters related to Islamic values and societal roles.
Guiding the Millennial Generation: Values and Faith
Coach Wulan also issued a cautionary note to the millennial generation, urging them to exercise discernment when following the opinions of influencers and to avoid uncritically accepting their viewpoints. She explained that fundamental values regarding what constitutes good and bad in life are typically shaped by family, religion, environment, and media.
However, she stressed the paramount importance of aligning one’s life with the Quran. "If everything is oriented towards the Quran, then not only will the hereafter be secured, but this world will also be manageable," she stated. This highlights her belief in the Quran as a comprehensive guide for all aspects of life. Consequently, she underscored the critical role of families in instilling core values in their children to counteract external influences and ensure adherence to the teachings of the Quran and Hadith.
"So, if young people are directed to focus their aspirations on the hereafter, and their value is obedience, with the Quran and Hadith as the source, God willing, their path will be smooth," she concluded. This statement encapsulates her hope for a generation grounded in faith and righteous principles.
Broader Implications and Societal Discourse
The exchange between Coach Wulan and the sentiments expressed by Gitasav is indicative of a wider societal conversation occurring globally, particularly in increasingly secularized and individualistic societies. The "childfree" movement, which advocates for a lifestyle choice free from the responsibilities of child-rearing, has gained traction in many parts of the world, often framed as a pursuit of personal freedom, career advancement, and financial autonomy.
However, in societies with strong religious and traditional underpinnings, such as Indonesia, these choices can often clash with deeply ingrained cultural and religious values that emphasize family, procreation, and the sanctity of motherhood. Gitasav’s statements, particularly those that frame children as a "burden," have been widely perceived as dismissive of these values and the profound sacrifices and joys associated with raising a family.
The contrasting perspectives highlight a generational and ideological divide. While younger generations, influenced by global trends and a greater emphasis on individual fulfillment, may be more receptive to the childfree narrative, older generations and those with strong religious convictions often view such ideas as antithetical to their worldview.
Supporting Data and Context
The debate also brings to light demographic shifts and societal trends. In many developed and developing nations, declining birth rates are a significant concern, prompting governments and societal leaders to explore ways to encourage procreation and support families. While the reasons for declining birth rates are multifaceted, including economic pressures, increased educational and career opportunities for women, and changing social norms, statements like Gitasav’s can be seen as contributing to a cultural discourse that may inadvertently discourage childbearing.
Conversely, the emphasis on faith and divine providence, as articulated by Coach Wulan, offers an alternative framework for understanding the role of children and family in life. This perspective, rooted in religious tradition, often emphasizes the inherent blessings and fulfillment that come with raising a family, even amidst challenges.
The Role of Influencers in Shaping Perceptions
Influencers and online personalities wield significant power in shaping public opinion, especially among younger demographics. Their curated online personas and direct communication channels can create a sense of intimacy and trust with their followers. This makes their pronouncements, even on deeply personal and societal matters, highly influential.
The controversy surrounding Gitasav’s comments underscores the responsibility that comes with such influence. While freedom of expression is a fundamental right, the potential impact of one’s words on societal values and individual choices is a critical consideration. The counter-narrative provided by figures like Coach Wulan serves as a vital reminder that diverse perspectives exist, and that deeply held beliefs and lived experiences offer a rich tapestry of understanding that should not be overshadowed by singular, potentially controversial, viewpoints.
Conclusion: A Multifaceted Societal Dialogue
The ongoing debate sparked by Gitasav’s remarks, and robustly countered by individuals like Coach Wulan, is more than just a clash of personal opinions. It represents a multifaceted societal dialogue about family, gender roles, personal fulfillment, and the enduring influence of faith and tradition in contemporary life. As these conversations continue to evolve, it is crucial to approach them with nuance, acknowledging the diverse lived experiences and deeply held values that shape individual perspectives on these fundamental aspects of human existence. Coach Wulan’s testimony, grounded in her extensive experience as a mother and businesswoman, offers a powerful counterpoint, emphasizing the potential for immense joy, spiritual growth, and personal fulfillment derived from family life. Her call for critical thinking and adherence to foundational values serves as a timely reminder for younger generations navigating a complex media landscape.
